1. Gun Dealer
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I got handguns, I got shotguns,
I got a Mohawk friend doin' cross border and back runs.
You need a gat, man? A new or a used one?
Tell me what you need and be my VIP.
Steyr GBs, SSGs - I got a TKB all the way from the Aral Sea.
AKs, MKs, the Anaconda's okay -
It's hard to conceal but it'll take down a Grizz - lay.
I'm doin' this forever, I'll do it tomorrow:
Supply and demand in Sodom and Gomorrah.
Never mind Al Qaeda; on this you can trust:
We're shootin' at each other twice as much as them at us.

I am the is and the dark what;
I am the what and the lonely is:
I'm a gun dealer, baby,
I'm the is and the what in It is what it is.

I got Glock 9s, carbines, Smith & Wesson - all kinds,
SD40s coated in a black Melonite.
.38s - whatever the cops carry.
The Diamondback Steve McQueen had in '68,
A Pilipino Ruger like Governor Perry -
A mile away, it'll split a coyote.
Got the Short Colt Cobra, á la Jack Ruby,
Got the long range McMillan - ain't she a beauty?
The Beretta in Die Hard - never mind the sequels.
God made all men, Sam Colt made 'em equal.
I got The Gun That Won The West, the '73
I'll take Jimmy Stewart any day, over Clooney.
Hey, whatever you are - a psychopath or a hunter:
I got what you need - no serial numbers.

I got one Sten, two Brens, three or four Remingtons
L2A3 Submachine -
I got more fire power than the Israeli Army.
Got a gun for small prey, a gun for display -
It doesn't have to shoot to make 'em do what you say.
I got a gun for your wife, a Cougar Undercover Lite,
I got a pink Taurus for the other woman in your life.
It'll fit in her purse, a Gangsta verse,
It'll chauffer all your jealousies away in a hearse.
I got a Serb M93, a Civil War Henry,
You keep the tax if I get the currency.
Buy two, get one free box of ammo -
Nice try, dude, but I'll throw in some cammo.
America wants me. The truth today:
The Pipe Fitters give more juice than the NRA.