Jon Brooks

Lyrics

My name is Trevor
So ya know it doesn't end well
I wrote this song; it'll go to no account
Nothin' changes without a body count
Now, man's life is cheap, as cheap as beast's
I drove to the office that let go of me
A man more sinned against than sinning
One Taurus, one Glock, one replica Browning


Like me or not, I leave a good stor
All the women are busy and the men are all boring
And the only good thing, the only good thing
The only good thing is an old dog


It was crucial that my entrance be deceiving
I slithered in by the dock of shipping/receiving
All the guys in the back were brown and over 50
They were speaking Guajarati drinking break truck coffee
I started with the vaguely overweight, Nazeem
He played cricket ten minutes for his National Team
I had a second thought, I couldn't abort
He died a martyr for his incomprehensible sport


Then on to the lunchroom, hunting down slaves
Why aren't Asian women banned from the microwaves?
Walking tall down the hall to the office space
My posture good, I had Errol Flynn's face
With guns out, I sang the refrain
"With Heigh-ho, the wind and the rain!"
I jumped on a desk, attention was gained
I read from Baudelaire's Abel and Cain


"Race of Cain, mount to the skies
and down upon the earth cast God!"I cried
In monastic quiet a woman started praying
I said, "one more thought, before I start spraying"
I quoted from the underrated Communist creed
'According ability, according to need...'
Vis a vis the capitalists' spiritual creed
'According gullibility, according to greed'


Is man no more than this? I lamented
But my 20 capacity magazine circumvented
Any positive answer, or timely action
The game was up for Customer Satisfaction
Full of grief as age, and wretched in both
I got bland Blake Howard square in the throat
He got an MBA from some online school
And he always took Crosby in the office hockey pool


Like me or not, I leave a good story
All the women are busy and the men are all boring
And the only good thing, the only good thing
The only good thing is an old dog


Credit department was the first to hit the dirt
'Cept dull Drew Wilson and his polo shirt
He was dead before I shot him: in gormless stasis
A eunuch without language, only 90s catch phrases
And the president meant well, a real Pollyanna
Too dumb to be depressed? You can be a top banana
O, Reason in madness! O, Proper deformity!
I took a selfie in praise of nonconformity


I threw a fast ball into the head of Clay Irving
The pitch did a switch - a pretty cool thing
It ricocheted out his skull into Barb Slaight's ass
She made a face like a frog pressed up against glass
I wouldn't have to sing such details
But you won't stop using passive voice in emails
On my way down to Hell I passed the IT guy
He worked for IT: he had to die


I took a shot at the elegant Megan Laliberte
Who disappeared with Brett Shaw at last year's Christmas Party
24 inches of single barrel aimed
At Stephie Miller-McCain and her double barrelled last name
On Dana Chan I showed no compassion
Was it a shirt? A skirt? A crime against fashion
"Ladies! Ladies! When will you comprehend?
'Casual Friday's' just another invention of men!"


Ariel Riddell went from dowdy to hot
Only youth or divorce gets a taut yoga bod
But her voice, 'O my Gawd! O my Gawd! O my Gawd!'
Such a sound warrants mercy by firing squad
58 dead, #whoscounting?
59, 60, 61 in Accounting
Blow winds and crack your cheeks! Rage
I don't want yer millions, Mister, just a living wage


The only good thing in this life
In this life, and by your side
The only good thing, the only good thing
The only good thing is an old dog


All was cheerless, dark and deadly; extreme
I danced on down to see the Marketing Team
Who are the mothers of all demons in the world today
My Taurus PT let out a Florida of blame
I smiled down at the interns, Ryder and Brody -
Thinking, what kind a people name their kids, 'Ryder' and 'Brody'?
Kill the hip, the bearded, the fresh-outta-school
Ahhh, teach 'em how to be kind, instead of bein' cool!


Drake Southern had a face like a swollen baboon
Crambazzled by thirst in the early afternoon
I sped up his nihilistic self-destruction
Like a rational man, called it a tax deduction
The corporation is a person baptized by law
To make shareholders money. Ahhhhhhhhhhh
The moral imperative, the modern votive
Say a prayer to Mammon and the profit motive


I surveyed the carnage: so rare, so honest
I was John The Revelator's Apocalypse promised
A little disappointed - I had to admit
What I dreamed of for months lasted, maybe, 10 minutes
But my moral calculus proved logically valid
This fresh stack of death was, in life, just as pallid
All these drones, so led by their nose
So, not worth the dust which the rude wind blows


Like me or not, I leave a good story
All the women are busy and the men are all boring
And the only good thing, the only good thing
The only good thing is an old dog


Howl, uh-huh, uh-huh
Howl, uh-huh. uh-huh


I sat down in the Lobby, my hands kinda hurt
I put my feet up on a corpse in a Dior pencil skirt
The intolerable Law: so predictably came
Their sirens sang the opposite of Barber's Agnus Dei
"Who is it that can tell me who I am?
Am I a psychopath or a paradoxical man?
Howl, howl, you are men of stones!
Rome must Fall to rebuild on her bones!"


Darkness is the God of the sunless deep
Spawning eyeless creatures to ooze and creep
Sigh...
Darkness is the God of the sunless deep
Spawning eyeless creatures to ooze and creep
Life doesn't just need Light to survive!
Twice 2's not 4: twice 2 equals 5
Why did Herostratus burn The Temple of Diana?
Why did Nature spare Bourbon Street in Louisiana?
Destruction, death, inevitable end
Nature took Pompeii and Herculaneum


Humanity must perforce prey upon itself
I regretted just the unread books on my shelf
Death's little Raven is the Glock SLIMLINE
Easy on the recoil, ergonomic in design
It reminded me of my mom, and what she said long ago
"Blacker than the insides of a bruised crow"
But she named me, 'Trevor' -
She shoulda known it wouldn't end well


Mom, ya shoulda known it wouldn't end well. Uh-huh
Mom, ya shoulda known it wouldn't end well. Uh-huh